Karl Conrad Diller, 1939-2022

Karl Conrad Diller – gentle soul; lifelong intellectual; world traveler; lover of music and the arts; professor and student of linguistics and genetics; and beloved husband, brother, father, grandfather, uncle, godfather, and friend – died peacefully of kidney failure at his home in Oakland, California on May 7, 2022. He was 83 years old.


Karl was born in 1939 in Wooster, Ohio, where his parents modeled civic responsibility and fostered intellectual curiosity, as well as a love of music and gardening. His father, Oliver Diller, PhD., was a forester and a pillar of the community who advocated for racial integration and religious freedom, among other causes, and had a significant influence on Karl’s sense of justice and purpose. Karl’s international worldview was developed early, influenced by his Mennonite background and, more immediately, by letters from his Aunt Laura, sent from India and Africa. He was also influenced by his involvement in the national youth leadership of the Presbyterian Church. More than 60 years after their visit to Brazil, he could still sing two of the folk songs he learned. (He also remembered how even just a little Portuguese afforded him a better haircut than his fellow travelers: “Curto, mas não muito curto.”)


After high school, Karl broke with family tradition and left Ohio to attend Maryville College in Tennessee, where he studied Classics. Almost as soon as he arrived, he met Ann Snelbaker, a kindred intellectual who was to become his wife and partner for over twenty years. After college, the couple moved to Cambridge, MA to attend graduate school at Harvard University. Karl initially studied in the Divinity School but switched to Linguistics and Education, earning his EdM with an Applied Linguistics major (and a Phi Delta Kappa award for best academic record) in 1964 and his Linguistics PhD in 1967. In the following years, he and Ann had two sons, John and David, and built a life together as young academics at the University of New Hampshire. They lived on an old farm in Northwood, NH and also briefly in Hawaii, first for a summer and later for an entire academic year, when Karl and Ann were visiting professors. There, Karl discovered a love for the islands that would bring him back later in life. While Karl and Ann continued to be proud co-parents to John and David, their paths began to diverge in the late 1970’s, and they separated and divorced in the early 1980’s.


In 1982, Karl met Liz Ginsburg, a lively artist and dance instructor who invited him into her ambitious re-creations of historical dances. When they married, Karl became stepfather to Liz’s sons, Adam and Matt Ginsburg. Because both Karl and Liz had joint custody arrangements with their former spouses, they spent alternating weeks as a couple alone, with a house to themselves, and then as a family of six – an exciting if sometimes challenging arrangement. The couple were very intentional in knitting their new family together, from making hearty and delicious meals to traveling within and outside the US. When Karl proposed to Liz, he did it by saying, “Will you build a house with me?” And within a year of getting together, they launched an ambitious passion project: building a spectacular passive-solar house in Lee, NH by hand, based on the design principles of Christopher Alexander’s A Pattern Language. For the next 18 months, they worked on the house nearly full-time, with only the help of their sons and Tom Coates, a delightful and invaluable building partner, whom Karl described as a “social worker turned hippie carpenter.” 


Karl and Liz spent more than 30 happy and adventurous years together, with shared love of the arts, science, and travel. After retirement, they sold the Lee house and moved to northern Vermont, sharing a property with son Adam and his family. Soon they were also spending a great deal of time in Hawaii, as Karl embarked on a second PhD in genetics at the University of Hawaii, which he completed in 2013. While in Hawaii in 2007, Liz suffered a serious stroke. Karl devotedly and steadfastly nursed her through the ensuing 9 years of illness, through her death in 2016. 


Karl was an intellectual, fascinated by learning and knowledge, especially relating to language and language acquisition. In his longtime career as a professor at UNH, he specialized in English as a Second Language, neurolinguistics, and the evolution of language. He published four linguistics books and more than 35 academic papers, chairing the Linguistics program for a time. Among his proudest achievements were organizing the faculty to achieve collective bargaining rights (and a better contract) and running a dynamic summer ESL program. As part of the summer program, he developed a “sister school” relationship with Shoin Women’s University in Kobe, Japan. Thanks to an invitation from Shoin, he and Liz spent a year and a half living and teaching in Japan, relishing the cultural immersion and forming several long-lasting friendships. Shorter international trips were also a feature of this period, as Karl delivered papers at conferences around the world. One of the most cherished of these trips was to Dubrovnik, in the former Yugoslavia. Karl spoke euphorically of attending the conference each morning, spending the afternoon at the beach with Liz, and then stepping out to the symphony or a dance performance each evening. These were the kinds of days that encapsulated his idea of a life well lived.


When Karl was offered an early retirement deal from UNH, he took it, but he very soon felt the itch to resume his intense learning. He started with pre-med requirements at UNH, considering enrolling in medical school, but he was so fascinated by genetics that he completed a master’s degree in it. From there, he enrolled at the University of Hawaii for a PhD. For his thesis, he brought together genetics and linguistics in an examination of the genetic basis for language acquisition, delivering talks on his research in both South Africa and Germany and completing the degree in his early seventies. The program provided not only ongoing stimulation and a sense of purpose but also a reason to return to Hawaii and live there during the winters. In the summers, Karl and Liz returned to Vermont and to their sons and grandchildren. 


Karl was a gentle and loving father, stepfather, grandfather, and godfather. His patience was legendary. There were never too many questions why, and he was always happy to have help with a project, whether it be gardening, cooking, or carpentry, even when his young helpers slowed things down or made mistakes. He made children feel like equal partners and equal people, modeling more than teaching, emphasizing accompaniment over accomplishment. 


After Liz’s death, Karl pared down his possessions and responsibilities and packed a 25-pound backpack for Greece. He was eager for the opportunity to live in the land of the classic art, literature, and language he had long treasured. For almost three years, Karl relished his life there, partaking in folk-dancing and choral singing; volunteering as an English teacher for refugees; learning conversational Greek; and attending the symphony, opera, and ballet. He fully embraced these years, making new friends, experiencing new and ancient art, and finding freedom in his status as an elder to share his thoughts and feelings more openly. This included connecting with friends and family through regular and much anticipated email “postcards,” which included a photograph or two in addition to reflections on his travels and his life.


In March of 2020, when the pandemic hit, Karl moved back to the US and then to Oakland, CA, where he lived with his son John and daughter-in-law Melissa Levine. Although the ongoing pandemic prevented him from enjoying many of the live cultural events he loved, he was able to attend some theater and an outdoor San Francisco Symphony concert that included Haydn’s Trumpet Concerto, an old favorite featuring his high school instrument. He watched and listened extensively online, coming back again and again to favorite pieces and admired composers, conductors, and musicians, including Khachaturian’s Sabre Dance, Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade, Prokofiev’s ballet of Romeo and Juliet, Gian Carlo Menotti’s Amal and the Night Visitors, Bach’s Harpsichord Concerto No. 1 in D Minor as played by Jean Rondeau, and many offerings from both the Berlin and Vienna Philharmonic Orchestras. And for his sister Connie, a former professional violist, he assembled a playlist of classical favorites from their childhood, with the hope of reaching into her advanced Alzeimer’s disease and giving her comfort.


Karl missed the older sister he’d known so well, as Connie no longer knew him. He had phone calls with his brother-in-law and felt very connected to his niece and nephews, but seeing his sibling lose the memories they shared – as well as her independence – weighed heavily. He wanted very much to keep his faculties and his independence; he was clear that when he could no longer take care of himself, he was not interested in continuing his life. So when medical issues began to pile on, he pursued treatment only to a point. When he could no longer go out on his walks, and when daily living became difficult without assistance, he decided to stop dialysis and die gently at home. He was able to say goodbye to those close to him, in one-on-one visits and calls and at a living memorial. His sons cared for him at home through his final weeks and days, until he died peacefully in his sleep.


Karl is survived by his sister Connie Lybarger, brother-in-law Lee Lybarger, and their children Loren Lybarger, Kathryn Lybarger, and Lowell Lybarger, along with their families; his first wife Ann Diller and her spouse Barbara Houston; his son John Diller and daughter-in-law Melissa Levine; his son David Diller and partner Amy Porter; his step-son Adam Ginsburg, ex-wife Kristen Ginsburg, and granddaughters Eden and Ellie Ginsburg; his step-son Matt Ginsburg, wife Melissa Ginsburg, and grandchildren Caleb and Ceci Ginsburg; and Matt and Adam’s father, Phil Ginsburg, and step-mother Carolyn Anderson, long-time friends of Karl and Liz, and their daughter, Sonia Ginsburg, who was Karl’s goddaughter. Karl also felt very connected to and cherished Liz’s extended family and his many friends, new and old, around the globe.


A memorial service will be held on Saturday, August 6th at 2 PM at The Browne Center at the University of New Hampshire at 340 Dame Road in Durham. The ceremony will be outside (under a tent) for COVID safety. All are welcome; please RSVP to KarlDillerMemorial@zoho.com. The service will also be broadcast online. Please email KarlDillerMemorial@zoho.com for the link.

Comments

  1. Thank you so much for posting the beautiful obituary which I have just come across.
    I am saddened indeed to read of Karl's passing and send my condolences to you, his family.

    He loved you so dearly.

    I met Karl at a folk dancing course in Ikaria in 2019. It was his second time at this course so knew the ropes. He quickly became a favourite of our little Australian contingent. I got to hear about you, all. I enjoyed our chats about Altzeimers (my son's field), second language acquisition (something I do and encourage my kids), bee-keeping, renaissance dance and the use of modern fabrics; comparative religion. We shared many laughs and many dances together. Memories I cherish. We all fell a little bit in love with him.

    He loved you so dearly and I send you my warm wishes.

    I write from Italy, where I visit my father's house. I attach my details and would love to share in some way a little book I wrote/drew about this experience.
    I have let the other Aussies know - including Olga who turned 90 on our trip.

    ReplyDelete

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